The First Kiss

5. The First Kiss

After a few weeks of hanging out a little more, holding hands in chemistry class and me getting more and more ready for Garrett to kiss me, he invited me to go bowling with him on a Wednesday night. I have to mention that I hadn't waited so long for a guy to kiss me before. Meaning when I actually became knowledgeable of a boy's "likeness" for me, I usually reciprocated it and we kissed soon thereafter. It was what usually happens in high school, "You like me? Well I like you too. Come 'ere sugar!" and BAM, you kissed the person. But this was different! We both knew we liked each other. a lot. ... but no kiss! (I want to give a shout out to Garrett's cousins who were also shocked that we hadn't kissed yet either. Thank you guys for looking out for me!) 

*ASIDE* - One thing that I should've mentioned in all of this is that for the first couple months of college, I was able to be on the BYU lacrosse team. Because of an injury though, I couldn't continue to play the rest of the year. It had turned out to be a blessing in disguise.  Collegiate sports require a total commitment of your time in most cases. But right when I realized I wouldn't be able to play anymore, Garrett and I started dating and hanging out. I wouldn't have had the time I needed/wanted to to spend with Garrett if I hadn't gotten injured. Right before our first date was the time that I stopped playing. 

Another crazy timing happenstance happened when, the night before Garrett first asked for my number, I officially and finally broke ties with my high school boyfriend. I was feeling unsure if that was a good idea until I saw Garrett the next day. I felt those same crazy feelings I always did around him, and then he confirmed my choice by asking for my number/asking me to hang out. The last crazy thing I'll mention that pointed the way towards Garrett's and my relationship happened when I took an afternoon to go the Provo LDS Temple. There I was able to take time out of my crazy life, that at that time was filled with lacrosse practices/training, boys that were driving me crazy, a pressing injury, and a serious question whether or not I should go on a mission. I was done trying to deal with all of it on my own. I needed to get help from my Heavenly Father; and I did. It was a very special experience for me. Instead of one answer or two, I got individual answers to each problem I was dealing with: I knew that my high school boyfriend was going to be fine but we wouldn't date again; the other boys I was talking with would work themselves out, I would heal, and, the biggest answer, I wasn't meant to go on a mission. That was a little bit of a shock. But even when the announcement was made about the mission age change for girls, I had been surprised that I didn't feel a "call to serve" feeling that many of my friends did. My answer that I got from the temple was that I was going to serve a different kind of mission. There was a different kind of experience that I was going to have that would be a mission where I would learn and grow. At that point Garrett was just the really cute kid in my chemistry class. After the trip to the temple, in my head it was almost like I physically felt the other guys paling out and Garrett was the only one left, glowing like always. Sounds a little interesting, I know! But that's the best way I can think of to explain it. So. It's safe to say that from that day on, I had this unconscious attraction/curiosity about Garrett that I needed to pursue. 

The Wednesday that we went bowling was an amazing day. After all of my classes and homework I jumped in the shower. I got all ready and thanks to my awesome roommate, Caroline, I had a great outfit. The shirt that I wore that night became known as "The Date Shirt" and was deemed a lucky charm. Garrett came to pick me up and again, and like every time thereafter, I hurried down the stairs as quickly as I could. Maybe more quickly that night because of this crazy feeling I had that something new was going to happen that night. I felt that there was a serious possibility that we were going to kiss! (There had been a night the past week where we had been studying over at his house and we took a break on the couch. We fell on the couch right into cuddling and there was a moment that I swore we were going to kiss. He even told me in a text that night that if it hadn't been for the garlic bread we had eaten and garlic-breath, he would've!! I never disliked garlic bread so much before...) Garrett opened the car door for me and we met his brother, Hansen, and sister-in-law, Angie, at the Provo-famous Miracle Bowl. Every Wednesday night they have dollar bowling, that when you're a baller-on-a-budget/college student, is a perfect activity! Garrett introduced me and I started talking with Angie and Hansen more about what they did for work or school. At first I was a little intimidated by Hansen, but when he started teasing me like my brothers do, I felt totally fine. I loved talking with Angie. She was immediately so comfortable to talk to and I felt that she was the kind of girl I would've been really good friends with in high school. 

We started one game of bowling and to my surprise, I did really well! I hadn't bowled for quite some time but felt really good that night. I'm pretty sure Garrett still beat me, which he does every time we bowl, but was happy with the fact that it was by a slim margin. Garrett and I sat next to each other and cheered each other on. It was really good to see how he interacted with his family that night. At times during the night I fantasized about double dates with his brother and his wife. They were awesome to hang out with!

After the first game of bowling, a couple that Hansen had invited joined the second game. We all sat at a table  and just talked. Garrett and I sat next to each other holding hands and being pretty lovey-dovey. The couple that had just come, after we introduced ourselves, asked us how long we had been together. "Um....." I had absolutely no idea what to say! I just looked at Garrett and, with some difficulty too, replied and told them that we had been hanging out and  on a few dates the past couple weeks. To my secret satisfaction  the other couple was surprised! They both told us that, by looking at us, they had just figured that we had been together and dating for a while. Garrett and I kept holding hands but we both felt a little bit awkward. Then the couple started to talk about how, when they had only been dating for a little bit, someone told them the same thing. His family immediately liked her and the got married 2 months after they started dating. They told us that it could happen and it felt like they were saying, "Just wait you guys. That's going to be you! We can tell." Garrett and I looked at each other and kind of laughed and I sort of thought he'd drop my hand, but he didn't. He stayed just as close and kept holding my hand. Well... I was just fine with that. 

After we were done bowling we headed over to Hansen and Angie's to play games. Hansen and I were on a team and Angie and Garrett were on a team when we played Cranium. It was really fun to play against Garrett. Its funny... sometimes I get more competitive playing board/card games than I do playing a sport! Hansen and I won and I teased Garrett about it afterwards. It was really interesting though. Almost the whole time we had been at their house playing games, when he'd look at me, Garrett had a happy/flirty look on his face. It gave me butterflies for sure. And when the game was over and we'd talked a little bit, Garrett told Hansen and Angie that we needed to head home. My butterflies escalated. He had said it like he was anxious to leave... maybe that was because he really wanted to get to bed... but that look... We got in his car and started talking pretty seriously. He told me how he had been so open with me more quickly than most people he had known. I had just thought he was an open person. What he said made me feel special. He felt like I was special in the way that he felt really comfortable being himself around me. We talked about other things and, I don't know how, but I didn't really think about kissing him very much! I was really happy and content with how we could talk and be open with each other. 

We got to my apartment building and we both got out of the car. He pulled me in for a big hug. It was an amazing hug! We stayed in an embrace and talked and swayed a little bit. In my head, off and on again, I had the thought, "Don't think about it, Katie Page! No more asking people if you can kiss them!" And i was indeed going to wait for him to make any move. If he was going to follow his rule, when he kissed me, it would mean that I really meant a lot to him. I couldn't ask for anything more than that now that I had thought about it. With other first kisses, they are sometimes out of curiosity/lust and not as much, "you mean a lot to me" feeling behind them. We pulled back a little bit so we could see each other's faces as we talked. He commented on how big my eyes were and started to make fun of how small his were. We laughed together as he tried to see if he could widen his eyes (its really funny, to this day he still can't widen his eyes!) We got quieter and after a few minutes, he told me how beautiful my eyes were. He got close to see all their colors. He pulled back and, after some time and  smooth enough to catch me by surprise, came in again and kissed me. 

It wasn't a soft kiss and it wasn't a passionate, hard kiss. It was a perfectly wonderful kiss. We pulled back and smiled at each other. Without thinking about it, I pulled him back in to kiss him again. And again. We hugged one more time and walked to his car door. Before he left, I made him kiss me one more time. My happy, giddy calm I had been in was very quickly slipping away and as soon as I got in the stair well, I jumped up and dow, whooping. I stopped when all the sudden I heard a door slam upstairs, running feet, and my roommate Alexis call out quietly, "Katie?" I laughed and ran up the stairs and we all (ALL of my roommates and I) ran into each other and jumped up and down yelling laughing. It didn't really occur to me then to ask why they were so excited for me too... I hadn't told them what  happened yet! They grabbed and we ran into our apartment and they put me on the couch to have me tell them the whole story. The best part though was when they quickly told that they had seen our kiss! They had turned off all of our apartment lights, making me think that they were all asleep when Garrett and I had been outside. They had all bunched together at our living room window that over-looked the back parking lot and had watched THE WHOLE THING! From pulling up, to the kiss(es). I love my roommates. I laughed so hard when they told me partly because they had also done something like that when I went on a different date! They were always the best listeners and encouragers. 

After everything had cooled down and I was able to come out of my happy haze and get ready for bed, I realized how much different that first kiss had felt. It was almost like how excited you get to see a flower poke up out of the ground for the first time but know that it'll continue to grow with time. I felt that I'd have many times to kiss Garrett in the future. Still to this day, whenever he's around, I want to kiss him again and again. And hey, now I have eternity to do that!! But getting to this point wasn't always easy and wasn't without it's hard times. Through it all though, we always were able to hang on to how much we loved each other. I was often surprised that despite the obstacles we had to face, Garrett held on to me when it would've been easy to let go. At some points I wouldn't have blamed him! I would've been heart-broken, but I wouldn't have blamed him. 

Pretty quickly after Garrett and started dating, I felt that I loved him. Crazy, I know! I felt like I was crazy! I had that strong feeling inside of me that I could tell him at any moment, "I love you" and it would be completely genuine and true. My logical part of my brain told me that I was crazy. I didn't know him enough to love him yet. Deep down though, I couldn't dispute the fact that I did indeed love Garrett Facer. Even though I was ready and willing to tell him that I loved him at pretty much any moment, it took Garrett a little longer to tell me the same thing...